Toxic masculinity is a social construct that can damage individuals and society as a whole. Here are details that educators should know about toxic masculinity. 

What is Toxic Masculinity? 

Toxic masculinity refers to a set of socially constructed attitudes and behaviours often linked to traditional concepts of “manliness” that can harm individuals and society as a whole. These norms encourage men to suppress emotions, display dominance, and avoid any traits perceived as “weak” or “feminine.”

The term doesn’t imply that masculinity itself is negative. Rather, it highlights a harmful version of masculinity that pressures men to conform to rigid roles, ultimately impacting not just men but also women and society overall.

Where does toxic masculinity come from and why is it a problem?

Toxic masculinity has roots in historical cultural norms and traditional gender roles that have been passed down for generations. Historically, societal expectations placed men in dominant roles where they were encouraged to be strong, assertive, and emotionally reserved. From family dynamics to media portrayals, these traits have been reinforced as essential qualities of “real men.” 

Educational systems, workplaces, peer groups, and even family structures often pressure men to conform to these stereotypes, perpetuating behaviors and attitudes that may limit emotional expression and vulnerability. Over time, these influences have shaped and reinforced a narrow, often  damaging concept of masculinity.

A 2022 YouGov poll commissioned by the charity Future Men found that over a third of young men feel marginalised and overlooked by society, with social media identified as a major source of negative behavioral role models. The survey also highlighted other concerning statistics regarding perceptions of masculinity in the UK as of 2022:

  • 37% of young men feel society still expects them to “be the breadwinner”.
  • 49% of UK adults believe that ‘not being able to provide financially’ would cause a man to feel emasculated.
  • 51% of young men believe that society expects them to “man up” when faced with challenges.
  • A third (34%) of men under 35 feel that struggling with mental health makes them less masculine.
  • Over half (51%) felt that “crying in front of others” would make them feel ‘less masculine’

The findings highlight shifting attitudes toward what it means “to be a man” in the UK, revealing the influence of social media in promoting hyper-masculine behavior, as well as the impact of the cost-of-living crisis on the identity of young men.

A 2024 survey by King’s College London reveals Andrew Tate’s significant influence, especially among young men. Among those aged 16-29 familiar with Tate’s statements, one in five disagrees that his views on men and women are offensive. This trend, with young men being nearly twice as likely to hold this opinion, highlights the concerning impact of social media on this demographic.

What are some examples of toxic masculinity for boys and young men?

Toxic masculinity can show up in various behaviors and attitudes, such as:

  • Emotional Suppression: Young boys and teens may feel pressured to suppress emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability. Phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” discourage them from expressing their feelings, leading to emotional isolation and sometimes long-term mental health issues. Pressure to live up to a masculine ideal can lead to poor self-esteem and poor mental health.
  • Emphasis on Physical Strength and Aggression: Boys are often encouraged to prioritise physical strength and may be praised for aggressive behaviours, both in sports and social situations. This can lead to bullying, intimidation, and conflicts as a means of asserting dominance over others. 
  • Contempt for anything “Feminine”: Boys and young men may avoid activities perceived as “feminine,” such as dancing, art, or even academic subjects like language arts, to avoid ridicule or judgment. This reinforces the idea that certain activities are “for girls,” limiting both self-expression and skill development. While these views can certainly be challenged, they often run deeper than they may initially appear. Students are significantly influenced not only by each other but also by what they encounter online and within their families.
  • Objectification of Others: Toxic masculinity can pressure individuals, especially boys, to see relationships—particularly with girls—through a lens of conquest or dominance. This perspective encourages disrespectful behaviour and normalises objectification, hindering the development of healthy, respectful connections. Common phrases like “boys will be boys” reinforce the notion that men and women are fundamentally different, promoting the assumption that boys are naturally predisposed to certain behaviours and therefore unchangeable. This mindset reflects a broader societal habit of excusing poor behaviour in men, as if it’s inherently ingrained, rather than learned and changeable.
  • Risk-Taking Behaviours: Young men may feel compelled to take unnecessary risks, such as reckless driving, substance use, or physical stunts, to prove their bravery or toughness. These behaviours not only endanger them but can also have serious consequences for their future.
  • Competitiveness: A culture of constant competition, whether academic, social, or athletic, can arise from toxic masculinity, making young men feel they must constantly prove themselves to peers. This often leads to excessive stress, burnout, and unhealthy comparisons that affect self-worth. 
  • Control in Relationships: Men influenced by toxic masculinity may feel compelled to control their partners’ decisions, social interactions, and even emotions. This need to “lead” or “protect” can sometimes shift into restrictive or possessive behaviours such as love bombing or gaslighting. 

What are the dangers of toxic masculinity?

Toxic masculinity has wide-ranging impacts that affect both men and society as a whole. Firstly, we need to consider the mental health implications. Men who suppress emotions are at higher risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide. Emotional isolation can make it especially difficult to seek help when they need it most. The Mental Health Foundation report that “only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men” highlighting the problem that men are less likely to access psychological therapies than women. The Office of National Statistics report that “Males continued to account for three-quarters of suicide deaths registered in 2022 (4,179 male deaths; 1,463 female deaths), a trend seen since the mid-1990s”.  

The expectation and pressure to appear strong and in control can prevent men from forming emotionally open, fulfilling relationships, leading to misunderstandings and a lack of genuine, emotional connection.

On a broader scale, toxic masculinity can foster a culture where aggression and dominance are seen as acceptable ways to resolve conflicts, which can drive higher rates of violence, often directed toward women and girls. Additionally, it reinforces rigid gender stereotypes, limiting personal freedom and promoting a culture that undervalues empathy in favor of competition and power.

How can we support students with a more positive view of masculinity?

Creating a healthier, more inclusive understanding of masculinity in educational settings can have a powerful impact on young men and society. Here are some ways educators can help:

  • PSHE Curriculum: Encourage students to express a full range of emotions without fear of judgment, helping to normalise conversations around mental health and vulnerability. A thoughtfully designed PSHE curriculum can be highly effective for fostering open dialogue, using discussion-based learning to support emotional expression. Creating a well-managed environment within this space is crucial for making vulnerability feel safe and challenging the stigma that still surrounds being open about emotions.
  • Role Models: Highlight male role models who display qualities like compassion, kindness, and emotional intelligence to show that strength takes many forms. This can be done through video content in PSHE lessons or tutor time, by inviting guest speakers in to speak during assemblies, or through everyday interactions. Staff should be reminded of the impact they have as role models by demonstrating openness, authenticity, and a willingness to discuss difficult topics, reinforcing these values close to home.
  • Alternative Narratives: Expose students to a variety of perspectives on masculinity by using literature, history, and media to showcase men in diverse roles beyond the “tough guy” stereotype. While PSHE classes are a natural fit for these discussions, these themes can also be integrated across other subjects, such as English, drama, media studies, and history, to challenge traditional narratives and present a more nuanced understanding of masculinity.
  • Safe Spaces: Promote respect for all identities and allow students to explore their interests without the pressure of conforming to traditional gender expectations. Ensure that behaviour, safeguarding, and PSHE policies reflect a commitment to inclusivity, and that any behaviours reinforcing limiting gender stereotypes are addressed and corrected. This commitment to safe spaces helps students feel supported as they explore their unique identities.
  • Staff Confidence: Staff awareness is essential for fostering an inclusive environment. Educators should be trained on using inclusive language and avoiding phrases that reinforce negative gender stereotypes. School-wide training can empower staff to create positive spaces for boys and all students to express themselves fully, promoting an atmosphere where healthy discussions on gender and emotion are part of everyday school life.
  • Inclusive Practices: Make inclusive practices a central focus within your school, encouraging active participation from all genders across all aspects of school life. Avoid separating activities, like sports, into those “for boys” and “for girls,” as this reinforces limiting gender stereotypes. Instead, promote mixed-gender participation and give students the freedom to explore a wide range of interests, helping to create an environment where everyone feels welcome to participate fully.

Addressing these examples with compassion and encouraging a more flexible view of masculinity can help create a healthier and more supportive environment for all young people.

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